The Monthly Report: April 2023

Mostly Serious

The end of this past month turned out to be a rather eventful time, so I’m hoping things will calm down a bit for me. Glad I decided to slow down the posting speed of Battles Beneath the Stars, that made things easier.

Part of the reason why it was so eventful was going to a gaming convention, PAX East, with friends. I enjoyed the chance to try out all the different games on the show floor. But by the time it was all over I was rather worn out.

I think the latest experiment will be trying to play things a bit more by ear with the fiction. Now that I have a ‘Misc Fiction’ section maybe I’ll make that the surprise update section, where it doesn’t follow a set schedule aside from not posting on the same day as other stuff. There’s another short story I’ve shelved for a while that I’m planning to bring out for the recently started Lunar Awards.

Knowing what doesn’t work is also a piece of knowledge, thinking about that helps me keep moving even after failed experiments like the thread last month. I have a story in a game that has ended service to thank for that mentality.

Now that the Chat feature on substack has the things I felt it was missing, I might also experiment with starting that up soon. Like today or tomorrow soon. Or it could be the soon that means a year later.

And to close this out, here’s a little seasonal special:

Battles Beneath the Stars Patch Notes

I wanted to do something for April Fools. And I like the ‘fake patch notes’ genre of April Fools posts. So that’s what I did.

General

-A laugh track will now play whenever a combo is dropped, and at various points in story mode.

-New mechanic: damage is now based on timing button presses with the background music.

Character Changes

Aris:

-Aris now has the ability to create insurmountable walls anywhere on stage that only go away when he uses the input to recall them.

-Fixed error where Aris mains had human rights.

Amezwar:

-Replaced with the Aztec god Tezcatlipoca.

Aodh:

-Added a new outfit where Aodh is wearing an apron. Only an apron.

Eamon:

-Has temporarily made himself unplayable to protest the lack of orc representation on the roster.

Erlingr:

-Fights with Erlingr involved are now decided by a scoring system rather than health.

Feriel:

-New special move: Arctic Rising. Summon an icicle that does damage and lingers on screen to absorb hits.

-New special move: Incoming Hail. A hit grab that can only be used in the air.

-New special move: Forthcoming Strike. Basic attack with a variety of follow ups depending on the buttons pressed.

-New super move: Herald Combination, unleash a lengthy sequence of attacks that ends in the air. Takes a full minute and can be comboed into…

-New super move: Final Hail. A hit grab that does a lot of damage.

-New super move: Arctic Revelation: Summon a whole row of icicles that release obnoxious screen obstructing ice particle effects. And they also do damage too I guess.

Fintan:

-His hair is now blue.

-Will now automatically win when facing Aodh.

Hákon:

-Gave Hákon more controversial traits.

Hyperion:

-Now says “acting like you won’t get command grabbed” whenever using a command grab.

-Added new attack where Hyperion releases a flash of light so bright both players are temporarily blinded in real life. Incidentally new legal forms must be signed before playing in a match with Hyperion.

Kazuko:

-Will now be arrested if she uses poison attacks in a match.

Metrophanes:

-Vulture Shah now talks constantly in a scratchy high pitched voice that does unavoidable damage to both players, both in game and in real life.

Nisha:

-Now has a gun (she invented it).

Quiahuitl:

-Her ball is now a basketball.

-Dribbling with a ball requires a pretzel input and frame perfect button presses for each step.

-Denying that Quiahuitl is ‘ballin’’ is now punishable by death in the Xilaman Empire.

Walakea:

-Playing as Walakea now removes all text from the game.