The 100+ Subscriber Special
A mix of reflection and self indulgence
Permit me to interrupt the regular posting schedule for a special edition, as the Warthog Report now has over one hundred subscribers. Reaching the triple digit mark certainly feels like something worth doing a timely celebration for.
So how did you do it?
Typically this is when people talk about how they got there and give advice for following their path, I’ve already had people request advice from me. There’s a lot of common pieces of advice that get repeated constantly and drive me crazy when I hear them, if I never hear ‘less is more’ again it will be too soon. So I responded to the request by trying to say something different that I’m going to share here as well.
First for something concrete, milestone acknowledgements draw people in. I don’t understand it myself, but from what I can tell quite a few of the new readers here (hello) were prompted to subscribe by my post on Substack Notes about reaching one hundred subscribers. I knew this pattern already, but seeing it in action still surprised me.
So when you hit some kind of significant milestone, shout it out and let people know. Posts on social media and the like about the milestone probably do more than a full special like this, but I wanted something for the occasion.
I think people are drawn to success of any degree. It’s a sign that the writer has a proven record of taking their work seriously, committing to it, and being taken seriously. Success is a nebulous term, but there are so many writers that people look for some kind of sign to pick them out of the crowd, and a notable amount of other people reading them is an obvious one.
For advice that’s a bit more worn out, I think it’s also important to avoid letting the quicker success of others discourage you. I’ve seen so many people on substack talk about how they reached one hundred subscribers over a few months, while I’ve only hit it well after a full year. But I did hit it, the cliché of just continuing to write worked out.
When you have a goal other people also want, envy is easy to feel, even if it’s not a zero sum game. I’ve envied and felt a bit of resentment towards plenty of other writers on substack, if you’re a fellow substack author maybe you’re feeling that way about me now.
I feel it’s expected for me to say I turned those feelings into motivation for self improvement, but that wasn’t the case to my knowledge, emotions are complicated. If anything the envy just led to feeling that maybe everyone else is better than me. I didn’t actually act on those feelings or let them paint my relationship with any of the other authors thankfully.
Really, it took me a while to get The Warthog Report into its current form, I was figuring out things as I went. At first I was going to do everything in one post per month. So it does make sense that it took me longer to get a steady readership compared to people who likely came to the platform with a plan that did stay mostly the same.
The influence of others
While seeing other substack authors did lead to a bit of doubt over how I compared to them, interacting with them also helped a lot on shaping this.
Showing up to the
zoom meetings let me talk with a lot of other fiction writers, and I ended up initiating a workshop thread for Fictionistas. The prompted me to start posting non serial fiction here so I could compete.There were also cross promotions that helped me reach this point. To recap:
-My first cross promotion was with Mark Dykeman of
, where he interviewed me and I interviewed him.-Inspired by the taste of interviewing, I reached out to
to talk about his novel What Manner of Man.-Geoffrey Golden and I got talking in the comments of
and we collaborated for a fighting game themed Adventure Snack.-Michael over at
was looking for people to submit questions for his superhero advice column feature, so I had Hyperion (my character not the mythological titan) send a letter to it.The recommendations feature has also led to some mutual benefit as intended, according to the official stats I’ve both gained and given subscriptions through it.
Key point is, I definitely didn’t do this alone and I want to shout out the people and opportunities that helped. Like everyone who subscribed and shared or engaged with my work in some way.
The special crossover
Now to wrap this up, I decide to write something that might be too self indulgent, a crossover between all my stories. Read on for the self referential madness. Or stop reading if you don’t I guess.
All the characters from each story on the Warthog Report had gathered in a mansion to celebrate crossing the one hundred subscriber milestone. The demons from Lovely Spirits were there too. Most of them were in the main hall, where a banner reading ‘100+ subscriptions’ hung from the ceiling.
Tezcatlipoca’s laughter reverberated through the mansion, concerning all the characters who had gathered in the main hall. Erlingr followed the sound to one of the many other rooms and opened the door to a small movie theater, occupied only by Tezcatlipoca. “What are you doing? Also wait, you haven’t shown up in any of the fiction.”
“I’m the author’s favorite mythological figure that he’s made multiple posts about, you really thought I wouldn’t appear? Anyway, I’m watching recordings of all the battles from the Trojan War edited to play silly sound effects every time someone dies.” Tezcatlipoca didn’t turn to face Erlingr, as he found the movie far more worth his time. He ate a handful of popcorn.
“That’s gruesome.”
“Shut up you bargin bin Ghatotkacha. No really, the whole point of your presence in Battles Beneath the Stars is to have a character like Ghatotkacha. But you’ll never be as cool or impressive as him.” While Tezcatlipoca spoke, the recording of the Trojan War was showing the fated battle between Achilles and Hector. Achilles dealt the fatal blow. A fart sound effect played. Tezcatlipoca fell to his side laughing.
Somewhat wounded emotionally by the blunt summary of his creation, Erlingr closed the door and walked away.
Back in the main hall, Abram was talking with Nisha. “It’s so strange being the first of my kind. And it’s not like there are other people who know what it’s like.”
“I do. It’s not a good feeling,” Nisha said. “At least you had a prior history and a father. I have no ancestors to speak of. The books in the library I guard are the closest thing I have.”
“I wasn’t expecting that response. I guess I have more to be thankful for than I realized.” Abram looked at his metallic hand. “This may sound odd, but you control metal, right? Does that mean you could control me?”
“No. I would never attempt such a thing, but somehow I already sense it wouldn’t be possible. My dominion over metal must not apply when it’s part of a living being.” Nisha did her best not to look at Abram’s third arm, remembering how often people looked at her wings.
Hákon and Andras walked over. “Hey, I just had an idea. Abram, what if you and Andras came to compete in the tournament at the Grand Festival? You’re bound to have a fighting style nobody else could use.”
“Careful, he’ll keep bothering you until you agree just to make him stop,” Andras complained.
Tezcatlipoca appeared in a puff of smoke. “I’d like to fight in that tournament in some form.” Tezcatlipoca vanished in a puff of smoke. Andras, Hákon, and Nisha all exchanged bewildered glances.
Abram appeared to have ignored the comments due to being lost in thought. “Not every battle needs to be to the death,” he muttered to himself, looking at the ground. He brought his head back up to face Hákon. “That would be interesting, I’ll at least give you a sparring match.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing how you fight. I bet you’re the ‘slow but strong’ type, like me.”
“Maybe if that was armor, but it’s his skin. He can use three swords at once, seems more of a rushdown fighter to me.” Andras eyed the sword half of Abram.
“You’ll have to wait and see. Actually, why don’t we do the sparring now?” Abram left with Hákon and Andras.
Over in the dining room, Odin and Fintan had just finished a meal together. “I feel like I can face immortality better after our conversation,” Fintan said.
“And I appreciated speaking with someone who knows a similar grief. It’s good we went here instead of dragging down all the activity in the main hall.” Odin stroked his beard. “On a lighter note, you shouldn’t be afraid to push Aodh around a bit. Frigg and I have stupid little competitions all the time, keeps things fun.”
“Like what?”
“I’ll start with the beard story, so-” Odin was interrupted by the dining room doors opening. Walakea and Tetlacatl dragged Foras in with them. Fintan raised his brows.
“We saw him talking with Nisha. Then realized she was talking to a man who likes books and has a unique perspective, meaning he had to be stopped before it went anywhere. So we had Purnia distract Nisha and now here we are,” Walakea explained.
“I think you’re overreacting,” Foras said. He didn’t offer any resistance as Nisha’s husbands continued to drag him away.
“You know I do love knowledge, power, women, and women who possess knowledge and power.” Odin slipped Fintan a sly smile and rose from his seat. He made for the door. Tetlacatl let go of Foras and chased Odin.
“Wait,” Fintan said. “Purnia hasn’t actually appeared in Battles Beneath the Stars. So if we’re letting in characters who haven’t made an actual appearance…” The thought was finished by the sounds of something dramatic happening in the main hall. Ciara ran into the dining room.
“The characters from all of the author’s unpublished or unfinished works are invading.” Ciara rested her hand against the door, catching her breath. Those in the dining room made their way to the main hall, exploiting the lack of explanation for the mansion’s layout to arrive there quickly.
It was a full on riot (as opposed to a half on riot) in the main hall, as different casts tried to force their way towards publication. “This is terrible,” Fintan said.
“I know, such foolishness. The author will get to us all in due time.” Walakea shook his head.
“No I mean it’s terrible because the short story about Aodh and I will only get delayed further if these people get attention.” Fintan summoned a sword made of fire. He ran into the fray.
“Oh, I see some characters from the story I used to be involved in before it became a portal fantasy.” Odin waved to the relevant characters. Tezcatlipoca appeared next to him in a puff of smoke.
“I also remember when I was part of that story. We should probably resolve this so the crossover can end, right?” Tezcatlipoca finished his popcorn, looked into the mob, and threw the empty container at a certain character he had a history of comedically harassing in their story. It hit them in the head. “I’ve still got it.”
“Everyone stop!” Odin’s shout drowned out all other noise. Everyone stopped mid battle to turn their attention to Odin, even Quiahuitl, who had a fighting game playing mob boss still in her grip. “If we don’t end this crossover event, the writer won’t get to any of our stories.”
There were general murmurs of agreement as all the characters stepped away and ceased hostilities.
“There’s more to writing than what gets published or even finished,” Tezcatlipoca declared. “Of course it’s nice to have a complete published work. But we’re all part of the author’s writings so we should celebrate this success together. Even the fanfiction original characters who are in a sort of legal grey area.”
With that the party resumed and became even more festive. Now draw your attention back to that banner in the first paragraph that has ‘100+ subscriptions’ on it because that feels like a good image to close on. And thank you for reading this.
Congrats on 100.
As someone who is not a competitive person, I am incredibly happy for you and do not experience jealousy all that much. I think that's because in my perspective, most things that are super popular aren't all that great. A lot of the time, people need to be told what's good and follow trends without authentically defining what actually has value to themselves. I think the subscriber count is not a defining metric, but nonetheless is an important one and something worth celebrating. It's heartwarming to see all the attention from other Substackers you received as a result of this accomplishment. Yes, Substack is different, but the fact still remains (as it does on all other platforms) that fundamentally we all want to be seen. We flock to our corner of the internet, which gives us a community that we can't get in real life. It can be a place where we matter, and we see the distinct value in others correspondingly.